Florida: Take 3

Rory: And Alice... how did she find me? I- I can't forgive myself. I won't... or her... no... no. Can't be happening. None of this can be happening. How come my world has torn apart? Ever since I met Sam and Dean again my world has gone downhill... it's sped towards the ground. Keeps speeding there. Nothing is all right. Nothing is fine. God... I'm losing my mind. I can't let go of this...
But nobody loves me... nobody can. How can they like some deformed chick? Some one like me...? They can't. Ma got ridda me. Ma made surer I was way gone. Now I'm sure no one's gonna want me. How.... can... they?
*Shakes through her sobs. There was too much feeling. Too much shaking through her. She could feel Jen's eyes staring at her from Rory's outbreak of emotion... but Rory didn't care. Rory couldn't care. She's gone numb. If she knew how she wouldn't ever talk again- there was no point to anything anymore. No point to life. She got with people to easily... then tried to stick it out. It would never work. None of it could... Fidelity was so important*
Jen. Alice. Louise. Sam. Jensen. Screwed all of them up... I'm such a fuck up... nobody will ever want this... none of this... no no... never... god I'm so screwed up... I hate this... I hate myself... I should just die... lay down and die...
Jensen pretended to love me... just so I could win some money. I was his fighting whore, 'cept I paid him. I was his fuck buddy slut whore bitch bag that should just slit her own throat and die... just die... right here and now. From the pain of knowing he had been married to that- that chick five months before the attack.... two years and three months after we started dating... He got married. God I'm so stupid. So so stupid...
Al and I go so far back... man, can't even remember when I met her. We were in love... first sight. First sight shit never lasts... worked on the same hunt. Busted it. Killed it. Like she should kill me. Come in here and shoot me with a silver bullet... just like we did to that werewolf... or slash me up with a machete... just like we did to those vampires. But no, I screwed up. Man, I screwed up so bad. Got someone killed... for the life of me can't remember who... her brother... I killed her brother. How could I be so fucked up?! I KILLED HER BROTHER... No no... forget... be numb... don't feel a thing...
Louise is embarassed to be around me... Shellz' best friend. her best friend that I just want to fuck so bad. But God... this' so screwed up. How can I do that to shellz? To Mary Ann. To Mark? I'm just some kind of selfish, I am... Just some kind of selfish... and I know... god I know that I should just let go to that brown-haired brown-eyed beautiful girl. But I can't... because I think I still love her.
Sam.... God Sam. we could have been together. yet we couldn't. He didn't love me. He loved the way I moved. Just like any man would. JUST SOME STUCK UP BITCH I AM! But the girls... oh yeah.. the girls. Man, they'd have my head if they knew. They'd have my head if they knew I wanted Sam... but what's more that I want... is Dean. That man is hotter than Nevada in July. And he's sweet too... and charismatic... and charming... sure he don't care about nothin' but 'imself... but he's two kinds of sexy. Cute and just plain adorkable... Man... my head's startin' to think in my accent again... that one from where I came from...
*Rory covers her head with her arms as she cries. She can feel Jen staring at her know, unable to do anything. Rory just shivers and shakes as her tears streak her face... as those tears make her make-up run... as those tears show everything that she's thinking on her face... almost*
Now Jen... hottest chick I ever laid eyes on. So sweet and kind too. Don't deserve that... just met her too... just met her and I feel like I could rip my heart out of my chest with my fingernails and hand it to her if she wanted. But I don't deserve that. I shouldn't even think this... Love at first sight is some posh... just some fucking shit that's made up to make little girls think they all have chances in this world. Only the true pretty or smart ones get it... not some plastic surgery defected trash... like me...

*slowly rises to her feet and stumbles towards the wall, blindly. Reaches it, and holds herself up on it for a moment, before turning her back to it and sliding down, still crying* What the HELL did you expect, Alice?? Did you think she would be waiting for you, to take you back??Don't be stupid...she wouldn't want you back...not after you lit up her house.

*Startsto cry harder, and starts to argue with self*


SHE was the one who killed him...she was the one...

No, don't think about that. It's not her fault, it's YOURS. Just fucking get over it, move on! She didn't wait for you with open arms, why would she? After what you did to her...

*terrible sobs rip from her chest. She trys to get up, to leave, but she's too weak and upset to lift herself off the ground. Shudders from crying so hard*

Just face it, you're a terrible person. She hates you, everyone hates you. You're a bitch, a fucking bitch, and no one will ever lope you. You should just fucking slit your throat right now.

*trys to make herself go numb, but can onl continue to scream angry words at herself*

Rory: *Tears cease to fall, but the sobs keep coming. She cannot terminate this feeling of hopelessness.... of carelessness towards her*

Julia: *looks at sam questioningly* Sam? What is it? *looks at Lucian* do you guys know each other.

Lucian: *coldly* we met earlier. *stares at sam angrily, not believing Julia is in the same room with the Winchester brother.*

Julia: *angrily* Okay, I'm lost. What the hell is going on between you two?

Lucian: Nothing, really important anymore. *smiles coyly at Julia then stares back at Sam* With your permission boy I need to talk to Julia, is that okay or do we have to fight again?

Julia: Excuse me, I'm right here! I can decide for myself! What the hell happened between you two?

Sam: *Huffs, standing up straighter and glaring at Lucian* Nothing, nothing. It's nothing.

Alice:You should leave now. She's not going to come out for you. *trys to get up, but is still to upset to move*You're weak...you're worthless. *lets out another wretched sob, hating herself. She covers her face with her hands and trys to forget everything*

Julia: yeah....sure. Like the whole point of reapting nothing is gonna make me think its nothing. *looks at both of them*

Lucian *growls softly*

Julia: What the hell? Get over yourselves! What the hell happened ya at least gonna tell me a shortened version? Cause this whole male dominace is pissing me off.

Sam: It's nothing. *Holds his head up higher, stretching his neck* Just stay away from Rory, got it? She's my friend... and we don't need some vampire stalking her. That girl has enough problems as it is. *Is aware he's starting to sound like his brother and mumbles under his breath* Damn Dean...

Julia: dude.....Your gonna break yourself...*sam's words sink in and she glares at Lucian* Did you go after Rory? *shoves Lucian outside out of the hotel room* ANSWER ME

Lucian: I went to talk to her....*stumbles back*

Julia: *angrily* WHY? You have no right going after ANYONE I know, they are not food.

Lucian: I wasn't there for that....I wanted an answer.

Julia: To what?

Lucian: It doesn't matter anyways.....its over.

Julia: *glares at Lucian.* YOU KNEW HER?!! Did you forget to mention that? You never came back to Miami to follow me did you?! YOU USED ME!! *punches Lucian in the jaw*

Lucian: *stumbles back and holds his jaw, he growls and In a fluid movemtn shoves Julia against the wall, arm pressed against her neck, the other arm across her chest* I never used you.

Sam: Hey! *Tears Lucian off of Julia* Back off. Whatever's going on, please, just leave Rory alone, that's all I'm asking.

Julia: *pushes off the wall, and glares at Lucian.* I can't believe I even trusted you. I actually trusted someone...you could have told me you knew Rory instead of all this secracy.... *her throat aches as she swallows, she couldn't believe she actually had feelings for Lucian*

Sam: Listen... I'm sorry for jumping all over you. I'm just still a little mad at what happened yesterday, okay?

Lucian: fine...its understandable Sam. *looks at julia* And it would never have worked out Julia. Between Rory and I. Stuff happened...that would make sure. I have to make...atoinment.

Julia: Atoinment? For what? Using me? maybe nearly killing Rory? I hope your ass got kicked lucian.

Lucian: I loved her......even without the curse.

Julia: *blinks a few times, heart racing* what?

Lucian: I killed so many people....but she was the only one to....tame me I guess you could say. But in the end...*angrily* someone got in the way..and..I was cursed with guilt.....to feel the loss of life everytime I take it. *looks away*

Julia: *feels numb and guilty* I"m sorry....I.....Lu..I'm sorry.

Sam: *Could hear Dean say in his head "That's just a little too 'Buffy' for me"* I'm just gonna let you two to your thoughts. I'll be inside. *Walks back inside the hotel and sits himself back in front of the computer. He hadn't checked the forum of Rory's in a while, which he bets he should do*

Alice:*finally has tears cease to flow and a little bit of strength in her to take out her cell phone. she dials sam's number, hoping she'll be able to talk. she listens to it ring*

Sam: *Picks up his cell phone* Hey, it's Sam

Alice:Sam?*voice is barely a whisper* Can you find a way to come get me? *voice breaks*

Sam: Sure, sure... *gets up, looking out the door* What's wrong? Where are you? Wait... i don't have a car... I'll find a way. But what's wrong? Where are you?

Alice:I'm...I'm at the convention where...where she is.Fort Lauderdale...come get me. please. *is still whispering*

Sam: God, I'm sorry.. I can't, I don't have transportation. Howabout you take a cab? And then I'll pay for it once you get here? Okay? Now what's wrong? Please tell me, Al. I remember you... I do. I know I do. You and Rory used to be together. That I already know. But what happened, Al?

Alice:I'll tell you when...when I get back. Please call the cab for me....I'll be back soon...

Sam: Okay, bye. Feel better. *Hangs up and dials 411* The cab center in Fort Lauderdale.
Operator: One moment please. *Looks through computer* Ah, yes... here you go. 305- 699- 8978.
Sam: Thanks. *Dials that number in his phone* Hi, can I get a cab at the paranormal convention to the White House hotel?
Bus Center Person: Sure. what does your party look like?
Sam: She's a petite girl. Short. Pretty. Oval face. Shaggy black hair. Big eyes.
BCP: Okay, we'll be there in a few. *Hangs up*
Sam: *Hangs up* God... Al... *sits back in front of the computer* Just please be okay.

Alcie:*drags herself to out front to wait for the cab, which arrives soon. cstumbles in a mutters location of motel to driver and sayys nothing more.*

Sam: *Hears a car pull up in the driveway. Julia and Lucian were in the room with him. The hour that it took to get Alice back to Fort Lauderdale was done with and he got up with his wallet to pay the taxi driver* Hey, Alice. *Says when he opens the door. He walks down the stairs, lanky legs stretching down on each outside step. He hands the money to the driver and watches the man drive off* So... what was wrong?

Alice:*burys her face in sam's chest--well, mopre like stomach, haha--and begins to cry again*I should have known...I should have known she wouldn't want me back...*cries*